


Better Than Being Hung Up By The Thumbs

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Background Shane Madej/Sara Rubin, Banter, Deepthroating, Dry Humping, Fellatio, M/M, Podfic Welcome, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 12:11:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Shane's stance on being hung from his thumbs versus being spanked has changed somewhat.





	Better Than Being Hung Up By The Thumbs

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be a thing for Kinktober, but it kinda... morphed into this. Hope y'all enjoy it!

“So you’re saying you weren’t spanked as a kid?”

Ryan looked at Shane, one eyebrow up.

How had they gotten to this conversation?

They were on a “Netflix and chill” date, beer and half finished Chinese food in front of them, and the topic had just… come up.

And now Shane was blushing, for some unknown reason.

Totally unknown. 

Obviously. 

“Nope,” Shane said. “My parents didn’t believe in hitting kids. Anyway, me and my brother hit each other more than enough to make up for it.”

“Huh,” said Ryan, and he took a swig of his beer. 

“I did tell you this on camera,” Shane pointed out.

“Yeah, I just forgot,” said Ryan. “It does explain certain things, though.”

Shane snorted.

“Didn’t you also say you’d rather be hung by your thumbs than spanked?”

“I mean,” Shane said, “on camera, obviously.”

“So your thoughts on being spanked have changed?”

Ryan was looking at Shane with a surprisingly intense expression.

“I mean,” said Shane, “I’d be more okay with it than being hung by my thumbs!” 

Ryan snorted.

“That’s not much of an answer,” he scolded.

“Well, no,” said Shane, “but I dunno why it’s so important.”

“I just like to know stuff,” Ryan mumbled.

“And if I like to be spanked happens to be one of those things?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, it does.”

Ryan took another slug of his beer, and then he put it on his coffee table, crossing his arms across his chest.

He looked anxious and determined at the same time.

It was an odd combination, to be sure.

“Why?”

“Because… because there’s a chance I want to spank you,” Ryan said in a rush.

“Do you now?”

Shane tried not to sound nervous, tried to look suave and possibly vaguely lecherous.

Lecherous did, admittedly, come easily to him, but still. 

“Yep,” said Ryan.

“Any particular reason?”

“Because you’re a brat,” said Ryan. 

“I am not,” said Shane, indignant. 

“You totally are,” said Ryan.

“What evidence of this do you have?”

“Well, for one, you’re arguing about it.”

Shane snorted.

“So I have to be a total doormat to not be a brat?”

“Well, no,” said Ryan.

“Maybe you’re only justifying it to yourself. Maybe I’m not really a brat, you just want to think I am one so you can have an excuse to spank me!”

“... that was some circular thinking,” said Ryan. “You must think pretty highly of me, if you think I’d go to that level of machination.”

“No,” said Shane. “I just know how you think.”

Ryan made a face.

“Well, maybe I wasn’t thinking that,” said Ryan.

“So you don’t want to spank me?”

“No, I want to spank you,” said Ryan. 

“So spank me,” said Shane. 

“What, right now?” 

“Sure,” said Shane, with more confidence than he was feeling.

“Like, right now right now?”

“Right here, in your apartment,” said Shane. “Lay a few smackaroonis on my ass.”

“... I cannot believe you just said that,” said Ryan, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, his face in his hands. “You just tried to proposition me by saying the word “smackarooni.” Unbelievable.”

“C’mon, admit it. It turns you on, just a little bit.”

Shane waggled his eyebrows.

“You’re trying to be sexy,” said Ryan, in a deadpan tone of voice. “I can _tell_ you’re trying to be sexy. But you just look like a bad Groucho Marx impersonator.”

“I do not!”

“I should spank you just for that,” said Ryan. “For… for making such a bad joke.”

“So now you need a reason to spank me?”

Shane shifted in his seat, his cock beginning to swell in his chinos.

So he was a lot more into this than he thought he was.

How about that?

“I mean, it feels more legitimate if I have a reason, instead of just wanting to spank you for the sake of turning your butt red,” said Ryan.

“You think you’d turn it red?”

“Oh, totally,” said Ryan. “Super red.”

He flexed.

“So… do you want me to?”

“Want you to spank me?”

“Yeah.”

“... sure,” said Shane, and his voice only shook a little bit as he said it. 

“Well,” said Ryan, “I guess you should get over my lap, huh?”

“So we’re going old school, huh?”

Shane made a big show of standing up, rubbing his hands together. 

“Yep,” said Ryan.

No justification, no trying to find some rational reason why he wanted to give Shane an over the knee spanking. 

Just flat out stating the fact.

Um.

Shane’s cock twitched.

“Should I take my pants off?”

“Nah,” said Ryan. “Want to warm you up first, after all.”

“Someone’s done their spanking homework,” said Shane, and he laughed, to hide his own anxiety. 

Why was he so anxious?

It wasn’t as if this was some deep seated fetish that he’d been hiding or anything like that.

Sure, he’d gotten off to spanking porn a few times, but he’d gotten off to a whole bunch of porn, over the storied course of his long maturbatory career. 

“I like to research stuff,” Ryan said, and there was a note of defensiveness in his voice. “So are you gonna lie across my lap or what?”

“Right, right,” said Shane, and he did indeed lie himself across Ryan’s lap, balancing precariously.

Most of him was held up by the couch, thankfully - it would have been really wobbly otherwise.

Ryan grabbed a handful of his ass, and he squeezed.

“You have a flat butt,” Ryan told Shane.

“So you say,” said Shane. “You and Sara.”

“In fairness, we’re the only people who get a regular view of your butt,” said Ryan.

He gave Shane’s butt a faint tap, right over one of Shane’s pockets, and Shane made an irritated noise, shifting.

“You call that a hit?”

“I’m just testing,” Ryan said, his tone defensive.

“A thousand pardons, O spanking guru,” Shane said, his voice deadpan.

Ryan snorted, and Shane could almost hear the rolled eyes.

Then Ryan hit him on the ass.

It wasn’t a very strong hit, but it reverberated.

Shane’s butt shook from it, a little bit, and Shane’s cock twitched.

Shane pressed his face into his folded arms, which were resting on the cushions of the couch, and was somewhat surprised at how hot his face was against the skin of his arms.

“How’s that?”

Ryan sounded nervous.

“You can go a little harder than that,” said Shane, in a quiet voice.

“You sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s my butt, Ryan,” Shane said. “It’s not like you can break someone’s butt.”

“I’m sure it’s possible to break someone’s butt,” said Ryan, but he landed another hit on Shane’s ass, right where Ryan’s ass met his thighs.

He took a deep, gasping breath, his toes digging into the sofa cushions, and he squirmed.

It was a stinging sort of pain, and it was a lot louder than Shane would have expected.

“How’s that?”

“It’s good,” Shane said.

“Harder? Softer?”

“No, no, that’s good,” said Shane. “You can keep doing that. Please.”

Ryan made an amused noise.

“I can, huh?”

Another hit, a little harder, on Shane’s left cheek. 

“You can,” Shane agreed.

Some of the sass had been driven out of him - go figure.

He hadn’t been aware that could be turned off. 

… oh god, Ryan was going to use it for his own advantage in the future, wasn’t he?

Another hit, and another, and another.

They were starting to blend together - the individual spots that were hit were starting to just turn into one big warm spot, and Shane’s hips were rocking, grinding into Ryan’s thigh unconsciously.

He was sweating as well, perspiration beading down his forehead, as the muscles of his ass tensed up and his toes curled.

Ryan was quiet.

Well, not quiet-quiet - there was a steady litany of panting, an occasional grunt, but no snarky commentary.

Ryan’s cock was hard and hot through his basketball shorts, right up against Shane’s hip.

The hitting paused, and Shane shuddered.

He didn’t want it done.

Or did he?

Um.

Fuck.

Shane shuddered again, and his cock twitched - it had soaked through his boxers now, through his chinos - by now, Ryan would have a wet thigh.

“Stand up,” said Ryan. 

His voice was low, and it was rough. 

“No please?”

It seemed Shane still had some sass left.

Good.

Ryan landed a particularly hard hit, right on the crack of his ass. 

Shane howled, jerking forward, and then he stood up, his knees shaking. 

His hands were shaking as well, as he unbuckled his belt, shoving his pants down around his thighs.

“Do you want me to take my boxers off too?”

“No,” said Ryan. “Later.”

He made eye contact with Shane, and there was an intense moment, the air so thick with sexual tension it practically dripped.

Then Ryan broke eye contact, and he gave an awkward laugh.

“Wow,” Ryan said, and he cleared his throat. “Um.”

“Um?”

“I didn’t realize, uh… I didn’t realize just how into this I’d be,” Ryan said, and he rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” said Shane, and he patted Ryan on the head.

It was an awkward gesture, but it was an awkward moment, so it fit. 

“Do you want to keep going?”

“I mean,” said Shane, and he wrapped a hand around his cock through his boxers, giving it a squeeze and moaning at the sweet burst of pleasure, “I’m pretty clearly into it.”

“I dunno,” said Ryan. “Maybe you’ve had enough and just want a blowjob or something.”

“I’m not against a blowjob,” Shane allowed, “but at present, I think I’m good with more -”

“If you say “smackaroonis” I will get up and leave, right here and now,” Ryan said.

“I don’t have to say it, since you just said it,” said Shane, and he smirked at Ryan. 

Ryan rolled his eyes, and he grabbed Shane by the wrist, hauling Shane over his lap.

Shane sprawled across Ryan’s lap again, but there was a lot more leg on display now, and when Ryan landed the next hit, it was a lot harder - no pants in the way.

Shane made a surprised noise, and he jerked forward, his cock grinding against Ryan’s thigh.

Another hit, and another - they were blending together now, and Shane was most definitely going to have a red ass by the time all of this was over. 

He groaned, his teeth digging into his own arm, and he ground his hips forward, panting now.

“You like it, huh?”

“It’s certainly better than being hung up by my thumbs,” Shane allowed. 

Ryan made a disgruntled noise, and he must have drawn his arm back a little farther this time, because this was a proper _smack_ \- louder than the other one, and hard enough that Shane rocked forward, just a bit.

It hurt, but it all hurt, and he was just a mess of throbbing and heat, as he groaned and moaned his way through the spanking.

“I can feel how hot your ass is through your boxers,” said Ryan.

“I thought you could ordinarily tell how hot my ass is just by looking at it,” said Shane.

“God, you’re such a brat,” Ryan groused, and he landed another, extra hard hit.

It made Shane yelp, and his cock twitched. 

“Can I take your boxers down in the back?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Shane. “Go for it. Although, uh… would you prefer I just took them off?”

“No,” said Ryan. “I don’t want you to cum all over my leg.”

“You seem pretty self assured that you’re gonna make me cum,” said Shane. 

“Judging by the way you’re leaking already,” said Ryan, “I’m pretty sure I’m right.’

Ryan was pushing the back of Shane’s boxers down (the elastic at the waistband was probably going to be stretched forever, oh well), and the cool air was almost like another spank, as it hit the overheated skin of Shane’s ass.

Shane shuddered, and his eyes slid shut.

“You doing okay, big guy?”

“Doin’ great,” Shane said, and he gave a slightly shaky thumbs up. 

“If they wanted to hang you by _those_ big boys, they wouldn’t have any trouble, would they?”

Ryan wrapped his fist around Shane’s thumb, and he gave it a squeeze.

Shane snorted.

“I don’t know if it’s the size that matters,” he said, trying to keep his tone silly and dry.

Shane wriggled his thumb, and Ryan stroked it, as if he was stroking Shane’s cock.

Shane flushed, and his cock throbbed again, twitching against Ryan’s thigh. 

“You are _such_ a pervert,” Ryan said. 

He sounded amused.

“You’re one to talk,” Ryan said, and he landed a smack on Shane’s ass.

Shane made an indignant noise, and his hips jerked forward. 

“Fuck,” he said thickly. 

“I mean, I’d have to get the lube,” said Ryan. “Do you want me to?”

“I don’t want to move,” said Shane.

“You’re such a pervert,” Ryan said again, and he gave Shane another slap on the ass.

Shane’s hips wriggled, and he dug his teeth into his lip, his eyes half shut.

Ryan’s fingers went to Shane’s hair now, forcing Shane’s head back, and that was… that was a bit much, the pain of it sank into his scalp, then down his back, mixing with the pain throbbing across his ass, until he was just one big mass of pain, but not… bad pain.

He hadn’t actually known that you could have bad pain versus good pain - go figure. 

Learn something new every day. 

He was so hard it almost hurt, and then the throbbing in his ass was like the throbbing of his cock, as the two different sensations moved through him, washing over him like a wave.

His skin was too small, and the muscles in his stomach were going stiff, as the tension in his gut went tighter and tighter, like someone winding a spring. 

He was going to cum, as his cock pressed against Ryan’s thigh, as Ryan hit him again and again and again, until his eyes were almost rolling back in his head. 

He was rutting against Ryan’s thigh, his cock trapped in his boxers, squashed against his thigh, pressed into Ryan’s leg, and the squeeze of it was enough to make his toes curl.

He was going to cum.

He was going to cum in his boxers like he was a horny teenager, as he was spanked, and the intensity of it was making him shake.

Ryan shoved his head forward, Shane’s face in his arms, and his knees dug into Ryan’s thigh. 

Shane came in his boxers, as Ryan landed a particularly vicious hit, and Shane cried out, sobbing from the pain and the intensity of the orgasm, the pressure breaking like a stick over someone’s knee.

He humped against Ryan’s leg, chasing the sensation, the sweetness and the intensity leaving him shaking, sweating, pale.

“How you doing, big guy?”

Ryan sounded faintly worried.

“I just had an orgasm,” Shane said, in a voice that he could tell was faintly distant. 

“Well, yes, obviously, but you seem a bit… shell shocked.”

“I’m fine,” Shane said. 

“So does that mean I can make fun of you for it now?”

“Go for it,” Shane said.

His boxers were cummy, sticking to his pubic hair, dripping down his thigh. 

He was going to need to wash them.

He was going to need to wash himself, too. 

But first….

Shane slid down and off of Ryan’s lap, landing in a heap on the floor.

His ass was tender and sore against his calves, and he relished the sting of it, even as he tugged on the waistband of Ryan’s basketball shorts, shoving them down.

Ryan’s cock sprang forward, and Shane wrapped a hand around it, leaning forward to suck on the head, holding it between his lips and letting his tongue flicker against the very tip.

Ryan groaned like he was dying, his fingers going to the hair at the back of Shane’s head.

“I’m not gonna last that long,” he warned Shane. “I, uh… I’ve been thinking about this. For a while.”

Shane pulled off of Ryan’s cock, stroking it in earnest, focusing on the spot around the head. 

“Have you?”

He ran his thumb over the slit, spreading the pre-cum over it, making it slippery, easier for his fingers to glide.

“Yes,” Ryan said, and he was humping Shane’s fist. “Yes, _yes_ , fuck _yes_....” 

Shane leaned forward, and he took more of Ryan into his mouth this time, opening his mouth a little wider, sucking on it, his hand loosely wrapped around the base of Ryan’s cock, partially for stimulation, partially to keep Ryan from thrusting down his throat too hard.

He gave Ryan’s cock a squeeze, and he bobbed his head.

He was already starting to drool, Ryan’s cock hot and heavy, familiar on his tongue.

He bobbed his head, slurping like he was trying to eat an especially large lollipop, and he tasted the saltiness of Ryan’s pre.

Ryan thrashed over him, and he was cursing under his breath, a whole mix of pleading, swearing, and threats.

Shane ignored it, as he moved his hand from Ryan’s cock to Ryan’s thigh, holding Ryan’s legs further open.

He opened his throat as much as he could, and then he took Ryan deeper inside of him, as deep as he could, down his throat, until his nose was against Ryan’s abs, and Ryan’s balls were against his chin.

Ryan’s cock was pulsing in Shane’s throat, and it was… it was a lot.

It was thick, and it was hot.

Ryan’s cock seemed to be pulsing in time with the throbbing of Shane’s ass, and Shane moaned, which vibrated up Ryan’s cock.

Ryan actually _whimpered_ from that, his hips jerking forward, and Shane gagged, pulling off and coughing.

“Shit, shit, sorry,” Ryan said. “Sorry, I’m so sorry, I -”

“It’s fine,” Shane mumbled, and he cleared his throat, wrapping his hand around Ryan’s wet cock again. “It’s fine, I promise.”

There were tears mixed in with the drool on his face, and then he was beginning to bob his head again, hollowing his cheeks out, covering his teeth with his lips and moving up and down Ryan’s shaft.

Ryan made a garbled noise, and he was beginning to tremble, his legs shaking, the muscles of his belly twitching.

Shane took a deep breath again, and he took Ryan down his throat.

It took effort not to gag, and his eyes were already starting to stream, drool running down his chin in rivulets.

He pressed his heels into his ass, and that was enough to make him shudder, as he sucked and swallowed around the cock in his mouth and down his throat.

“Shane, fuck, Shane, Shane, I’m close, I’m so close, I’m gonna… I… _fuck_!”

Ryan came down Shane’s throat, his cock thick and pulsing, and Ryan’s hands tightened in Shane’s hair with each pulse of his cock. 

Shane had been expecting that, and he swallowed it.

The taste wasn’t anything to write home about, but it wasn’t on his tongue, which was what usually bothered him, and he wasn’t going to complain too hard about that.

He pulled off of Ryan’s cock, slowly, and Ryan shuddered, when Shane kissed the head.

“How was that?”

Shane was a little bit shocked at how wrecked his voice sounded - he’d deepthroated before, and he didn’t usually sound quite so… porn star-y.

Ryan blinked down at Shane, his expression bleary. 

Shane licked his lips, looking up at Ryan.

There was now a wet spot on his shirt to match the one in his boxers.

That was good. 

Symmetry and whatnot.

Maybe he was a little loopy or something. 

He probably looked a mess - eyes streaming, lips swollen, drool still shiny on his chin.

“Next time,” Ryan said, “I’m gonna use a paddle.”

Shane’s cock twitched, and he gave Ryan a nervous smile. 

“As long as you don’t hang me by my thumbs,” he told Ryan.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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